A Spot of Psychic Kettle Cleaning
Yes, you read that correctly. This blog is called True Tarot Tales for a reason. The Tarot is a tool for use in the real world. The oracle of the Tarot does not disdain to talk about anything at all: money, plumbing, toilets -and kettles. Hubble, bubble, toil and trouble. Pass me the biccies. The kettle is on the boil. The Devil card might be the Tarot's way of trying to tell me about someone's diarrhea or constipation. Indeed, it has been known to say exactly that, and the client confirmed it.
I have a to-do list, writing up recent readings to do with Russia, Ukraine and the US Elections. But I just don’t want to go there right now, and that’s the simple truth. Too bad, too sad. I will do. I am monitoring events via my cards, though I don’t even want to look in my cards at Israel and Gaza right now.
Love n Light. Give me a break. I don't mean to be mean. Yes, there is love and light. We need to give it and receive it, the more of it the merrier, and a little goodwill goes a long way. But mantras are overused. Life doesn't come off the peg. Reading for others isn't about the reader and their credentials as an aspiring Merlin, Witch Goddess, Earth Mother or Buddha-in-waiting.
Life is a struggle at times; sad, lonely, painful, even frightening, demanding not only patience and fortitude, but concerted thought, effort and direct action. To create, make, build or sustain anything at all is a test of discipline. And how much money, time, energy and actual worry is invested in the basics of everyday living?
The Tarot would be self-indulgent, snooty, and in fact, pointless; bugger all use to anyone else (oh, I say, Jeeves, steady on.) Not fit for serious purpose if its readers decided such everyday conversations were not deserving of its very best attention, the same as anything else of a purportedly more 'spiritual' nature.
If the Devil is in the details, so is God and and all the angels. If God created everything, that includes germs, worms, and parasitic wasps. The Tarot will do deadly serious. Oh yes. It will go 'there.’ It must, though that doesn't mean it doesn't have a sense of humour.
And so….
Junior Sprog called with a question. She had purchased a box of three sachets of limescale remover for her kettle, but when she opened the box, it contained only one sachet. What a rip-off. However, she had duly deployed this measly single sachet, which I understood was a formula based on baking soda.
'Why not just use baking soda?' I suggested in that annoying way parents have, but she explained she had given hers away to Amy who lived next door but one, who needed it for making banana bread.
So Junior Sprog had used this stuff and rinsed the kettle out. Now she was wondering, was that enough rinsing? Was the kettle safe to use now?
Logically, the easy answer was yes, of course. Bicarbonate of soda, aka baking soda, isn't going to hurt anyone, unless they ingest it in inappropriate quantities when it certainly could hurt them.
But I didn't know what else was in this cleaning product. Struck with a sudden horrific image of my baby afflicted with alkaloid poisoning I pulled a Tarot card:-
Card Number One: The premise of the situation in hand
The Three of Swords Reversed. Death, mourning, separation, severance, divorce, heartburn/heart attack.
'Are you OK?' I asked. Tarot often picks up other stuff, regardless of the actual issue being presented for discussion. Besides which, Junior Sprog sometimes had problems with colitis throughout her teens, and the Tarot helped by correctly flagging up a sensitivity to lactose (The Empress Reversed and Ace of Cups reversed.)
My question was not entirely idle, therefore, but Junior Sprog rolled her eyes. 'I'll take that as a yes,' I said, and had another think. Of course. No worries. The Three of Swords Reversed was saying two things at once, confirming that 'it' - the Tarot had heard me perfectly well, and understood the real question; 'is my daughter at risk from poisoning if she uses the kettle as it is, or does it need further rinsing/decontamination?'
The Tarot was specifically commenting that:-
Indigestion...baking soda is a remedy for heartburn, referring to the other well known use of sodium bicarbonate...a more benign aspect of that classical 'heart ache/pain/attack' possibility of interpretation.
She had bought a product advertised as containing 3 sachets, but the box contained only one. 3 sachets not present = 3 Swords Reversed. And how about that for a mundane card interpretation? It may be worth knowing however, in general it’s The Moon card that is most likely to warn of poisoning (or infection)
Card Number Two: asking for advice....where are we at now?
The Eight of Swords. Stress. Abandonment. A flooded bathroom. No hang on, I said to myself. Let's keep this narrative kettle-based. No going down rabbit-holes. Just stick with the blooming kettle! The Eight of Swords has long since proved its practical worth to me as MY card for spotting problems, letting me know if my client is dealing with drains, plumbing or damp issues, or making home improvements along these lines.
'How many rinses have you given it?' I asked.
'Seven or Eight,' she said.
'That's OK then. That should do it.'
Final card. Outcome. Is the kettle completely safe to use?
The Knight of Cups. Flow of water. Healing. Yes it is. This is the ultimate card of clean water...excepting only the Ace of Cups, which symbolizes the Healing Chalice/ Grail Cup. There is a touch of salt here, and the waters may be shark infested but the sharks are not hungry today. This water will not 'bite.'
Common sense says we hardly needed the Tarot for this exercise, and that's fair enough in general terms, but it's beside the point here. When I started learning the Tarot, there were so many sources dealing in generic, quasi-mystical language, counselling that this card was exhorting us to 'let go of what does not serve,' or to 'rediscover our true purpose,' that when I first began to write this blog in 2010, it was with a determination to learn, apply and illustrate the Tarot as a useful, modern psychic tool capable of talking in terms of concrete realities, and dealing in specifics.
Readers must learn to address specifics. Whatever the question, whatever the concern, the reader must never lose sight of the stakes or the 'so what?'
I wonder how Amy got on with her banana bread. The Six of Pentacles suggests it went down pretty well. Maybe just a touch on the heavy side. Not quite enough baking soda.
Fantastic stuff, baking soda. A quarter of a teaspoon in a tumbler of water for heartburn. Baking soda plus vinegar, add a dash of lemon does a pretty impressive cleaning trick...fantastic for blasting limescale, pipes, plugholes...
Fizzzzz.
Oh, go on then. Let’s have something truly serious to finish with. My cards indicate that Russia will not take Kyiv or Odessa, though, should Russia invade Moldova, that will clearly be the objective. Why even mention this? Mr Lavrov has recently said that Russia has no plan to invade Moldova. But in 2022 they said they had no plan to invade Ukraine…
Thank you for reading.
Until next time :)
This was as refreshing as a clean kettle!! I absolutely loved it.
Loved this. Glad to hear what you had to say about Ukraine. Absolutely loved the parrot on a bike. Long past having had my fill on American political news. Now I’m very worried about the state that of my tea kettle.